OMFG Why is it such a hassle to get your damn free credit report?

hairI used to be able to just get my free annual reports from the credit bureaus, you know for free with no hassle, because it’s the law.  But now I went to get it this year and it’s asking me security questions that have nothing to do with me.  They aren’t even banks’ names I recognize and so I answered “None of the above” then I get the pity party message that they can’t give it to me online and that I have to write. Who the hell writes anyone anymore?  You can’t call anyone either; all you get is autobot Agent Smith telling you to press 1 for “kiss” and 2 for “my ass” and saying “agent” or pressing “0” only causes Agent Smith to either keep quiet or have you go over the entire menu all over again.

The only one I was able to get with zero frustration was Transunion; I answered the questions, which were related to me and I got my free report and went on about my business, but Experian & Equifax was a no go.  Funny that if you pay they give you full blown access in a second though!  Personally, I sense a scam in order to make people pay because first of all, why were all four questions about a mortgage loan dated in years that I was in college?  I’ve never taken out a mortgage loan and even if I had, they certainly wouldn’t have been during the dates given when I was in college living off of pocket change and Ramen noodles & hot dogs.

I ran into this same problem last year and paid for the report but I’m not doing that this year or ever again.  I’m suppose to get mine free so that’s what I’m going to get.  And Equifax is the worst because they want you to mail them every single document known to man to verify it’s you.  They wanted me to send them copies of my social security card, my W2’s, my driver’s license and everything else that they have no legal access to.  I am not sending them a goddamn thing because for one they are not a financial institution at all but have wormed their way into the finance and data mining industry to make people think they are official and entitled for you to send them anything they tell you to.  Think of the credit bureaus and ChexSystems as the PayPal’s of the finance industry; a third-party entity that has no right to any of your information but since they provided businesses information that they couldn’t get themselves, they have been given a nudge-nudge , backdoor access to that of which they shouldn’t just because they provide a service to businesses.  I remember one time PayPal asking me to send in copies of my driver’s license, social security card and other identifying documents; I lol’d.

I have an existing Equifax membership account so I don’t know why they wont just put the crap there.  I’d be less concerned about identity theft and more concerned about these jokers selling my information of which they do even to this day.

agent_smithHere are the hidden numbers to Experian and Equifax to get in touch with a live person and not going around in friggin circles with Agent Smith

Experian 1-866-841-6379

Equifax 1-866-640-2273



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